Does She Like Me?

She seems to like me, but nothing is happening. This phrase or similar phrases are uttered by men everywhere. This situation may be similar for some women, but I’ll be talking to the guys here.

You meet this amazing woman, everything clicks at first, you go out on a few dates, you may even have given each other a peck on the lips or something more sensual. A few weeks have past and everything seems to remain in limbo. You may be messaging each other regularly, talking on the phone etc., but nothing more is happening and now you’re starting to get frustrated. You may be thinking “What the f*ck is wrong with this chick?” What’s wrong with her? Nothing. But there may be more happening in her life than you’re aware of.

Possible Scenarios

Here are some possible scenarios. This may give you some insight on what’s happening in her life.

• She may be seeing other men. Women who go out regularly will get hit on very often. This means she may have other men that she’s interested in, you being one of them. With all of these choices available to her, she can take her time in choosing.
• She recently came out of a relationship. If she recently came out of a relationship, she’ll be very cautious in hooking up with someone else. Though you may have great chemistry, she may be thinking of her ex and still feeling the attachment. Memories are probably still floating around. She’s wounded and in the healing process. You are not a priority to her.
• She’s comfortable with your availability. Because you like her so much and you’ve given her so much attention, she feels she can take her time.
• She now considers you a friend. This is the dreaded “Friend Zone” for men. She may have been attracted to you, but because of the way things played out, she likes you, but as a friend now.
• She likes to have you around because of the attention you give her. Who doesn’t like attention? Well, most people do. The fact that you’re available and give her so much attention causes her to feel good about herself. Remember, she may have other men doing the same thing and all of this attention builds up her confidence or at least maintain it while she’s getting the attention.

The list of reasons can be endless but these points should give you something to ponder on.

So what do you do?

There are a number of things that can be done to try to revive that spark that was there at the beginning. It doesn’t mean that they’ll work, but they can be used as a “last attempt”. Forget about strategy and tactics for now because we won’t be discussing that in this post. Let’s ask ourselves this question instead: what’s wrong with you?

“Me? There’s nothing wrong with me, she’s the one with the issue!” Before going around blaming her, start looking at yourself for answers to the problem. If you’re blaming her, you have a problem right there. We have this tendency to blame others. Listen, she’s living her life and you happened to pop in. What, you expect her to drop everything because you’re there now? LOL, that my friend is delusional.

These suggestions don’t necessarily deal with the specific situation. If you’re stuck on a girl, it’s because you don’t have options. If you don’t have options it’s because you’re not creating enough opportunity. Think about it like this: if you had a great social life, looked great, felt great and were confident. Would you be putting so much effort into one woman and hoping and praying that it may work out? Let’s turn this around from the woman’s perspective. If she saw an active man who had a great social life, looked great, felt great and was very confident. Would she be more attracted to him?  Think about it.

There are reasons why you’re clinging on to this potential relationship and that’s what I’d like to address. Your state. Insecurity and lack of choice are two areas that should be considered.

I’m going to be touching on what I call “surface stuff”. Mainly things that don’t deal with deep inner core self issues.

• Is she the only one that you’re seeing now? Many men aren’t actively seeking women to date.  When they happen to meet a woman, that woman now becomes the highest of priorities. Clinging on to her and putting so much focus on her will cause you to “lose your nuggets”. This much attention will place a lot of stress on you and the potential relationship. You may be thinking “Man, I’m putting all of this energy into this. How come she’s not doing the same?” You now think she owes you something. Wrong! She owes you nothing. Start looking for other women to date.
• Get busy living your life. If you’re spending most of your time playing Xbox you’re avoiding something. Nothing wrong with playing games, but get out more often. Start building a social life and seek to include women in your circle.
• Stop seeing relationships only through male eyes. This is not easy to do, but understanding women will help you in relationships. The world seen through male eyes and female eyes are very different. Seek female friendships. You don’t need to be best buds, but look to talk to women more often. Start off with the ones that you know, family, cousins, co-workers and then seek to expand. Listen, listen, listen, don’t judge and start learning. If you haven’t seen the Mel Gibson movie: What Women Want, look for it and watch it. It’ll be a beginning for you
• Start working on building your confidence. Confidence is so important in being able to get what you want. A woman loves and needs a confidant man in her life. Start taking steps to build your confidence.

In Summary

Dating, relationships, life in general is not that simple. Before you start blaming others for your problems, start looking at yourself. That woman that you like, give her some breathing room. If she really likes you, she’ll make sure you know it. The idea here is to start building yourself up. You have so much to offer, explore yourself and learn. Women will appreciate you and become attracted to you because you know who you are.